Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Lions and Tigers and Bears...

As we were discussing our previous day's events, this morning, Mike very nonchalantly informs me that we have a mouse in the house.... Or at least what he "thinks" is a mouse.
"What do you mean, you think it's a mouse"?  "How can you not know"?!
"Well I saw something scurry across the floor, really fast when I flipped the light on, I assume it was a mouse".
I pressed him for more specific information... How big was it?... What else do you think it might've been?...
Where'd it scurry from and where did it go to? ...
His response was NOT what I wanted to hear... "Well, if it wasn't a mouse, it was the biggest, fastest spider I've ever seen".
Mind you, we do have spiders here quite often. I've killed a black widow in my storage shed and I'm constantly bombarded by grass spiders all over the house. Through the years, I've come to grips with it,  kinda made peace with the fact that the spiders are here... Until I see one.
Not wanting to believe that the Godzilla of spiders is creepy crawling around my kitchen, I school Micah on what a mouse is and what one looks like, in case he's in the kitchen when it shows back up.
The more I looked at the pictures, the more ok I was with this furry little devil being in my house.
Cut to an hour or so later...
Mike leaves and it's just Me & Micah, in the house. I get up to check out the place in the kitchen where the mouse/spider was seen the night before. I find no traces of mice being around... no droppings, no food half eaten, no nest built out of stolen household items, nothing.
Feeling slightly relieved at the thought that the mouse/spider hasn't taken up permanent residence in my kitchen, I go to the bathroom. I had no sooner sat down, when Micah starts yelling "bug", repeatedly. Knowing Micah is somewhat of a tricker, I ignore him and continue my business. That's when I saw it...the Godzilla of spiders was crawling out of the bathroom, into the hallway. OMG! What am I gonna kill this thing with?! I grab the closest thing, which happened to be the toilet paper holder, and try to squish it... It's barely out of my reach. I pull up my shorts & do a "not so graceful" gymnastic maneuver into the hallway. I plant the base of the T.P. holder squarely on spiderzilla's  body & push down firmly. I lifted up the holder, expecting to see the mangled body of spiderzilla, when he took off like a bat outta hell, apparently I had only stunned him. I once again aimed & struck, leaving the T.P. holder on top of him until I found a more suitable weapon... Steven's flip flop. With surgical precision, I lifted & squished with one fail swoop.
I did it!!
I had battled spiderzilla and won!!!
In conclusion, I say...
Watch out Mr. Mouse, Mama's feelin lucky today.
: )


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